I never considered myself a fearful person… at least not until I began my journey with Discovering Me. For the last several months I have been trying to decide if my fears related to writing Discovering Me are rooted in success or failure. Am I afraid to succeed? Or am I afraid to fail? Is this the first time I am mentioning that I am a fearful? Surprise!
Days before a mentally rough 2016 ended and a promising 2017 began, it became clear that I’m not afraid of success nor failure. Nope. I’m actually afraid of what other people will think of Discovering Me. In fact, I am completely crippled by what others “may” think to the point that I haven’t been able to move forward.
I would love to say this was a moment of brilliant, earth-shattering discovery on my part, but no. I have to give all the credit to God, His timing, and His Word. I was sitting in the hotel lobby of a Courtyard Marriott in Summerlin, Nevada working on my homework for a weekly Bible study. Mad props to me for doing homework while on vacation! One of the verses in the study was Proverbs 29:25 (MSG), “The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that.” Like a lightening bolt, I was struck with the truth that I was deeply concerned about what others might think of Discovering Me.
For months the tape playing in my head has been shouting, “Who cares what you have to say?” and “What gives you the right to write a book?” and “Who are you anyway?” But never once did I connect that those lies from the enemy were wired into my fear of others opinions. And my fear of human opinion goes far beyond just Discovering Me… but we will save that for another blog.
So what now? Trusting in God – in His opinion – is what will protect me from that fear. It sounds so simple. It should be simple. It can be simple, but how? Surrender. Give Him ALL of my fears. Give Him ALL of Discovering Me from the words to the publishing to the success to the speaking – the whole kit and caboodle. Trust Him with it all. Joyce Meyer always says, “We need to do what we can do, and let God do what we cannot.”
Okay. That’s that. I can no longer allow fear of what YOU may think stop me from writing and putting Discovering Me out into the universe. Done and done. Oh but wait… there’s more. Trusting God with the fear is one thing, but He needed me to understand the significance of Discovering Me. I was led to read Matthew 25:14-30 (NLT), the parable of the three servants.
It is the story of a master who gives money to three servants. The first two servants take what they were given and invest the money, making more for their master. The third servant was so fearful of losing the money, that he buried it in the ground. When the master returned, he was furious that the servant did nothing with the money. At the very least he could have deposited the money in the bank to generate some interest. The master was so angry he took the money from the servant and passed it along to the servant who had made the most. This verse is key, “To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.” Matthew 25:29 (NLT).
God has given me a gift in Discovering Me. He is providing me a rare opportunity to tell my story so it can be used for His glory. But if I continue to bury the story in the ground out of fear, I risk losing it. I risk losing a chance to help other women understand how valuable they are just the way they are. I want to be like the first servant who took their 10 bags of silver and multiplied their riches. I want to multiply the riches of Discovering Me so that God can bring hope to others – to you.
I get it now. I understand that Discovering Me is less about me and more about God and His awesome power. I just need to invest what He has graciously given me wisely – not squander it. And that investment – the telling of my story – needs to be done without fear of what others may think. I will no longer be disabled. I will no longer bury my gift. I will rise to the challenge with joy and enthusiasm. Bring. It. On.
I wish I knew why it took eight, long months for this to come together for me. Perhaps none of this could be heard through all the reverberating and He needed my soul to be quieted before I could receive His words, His truth. In my last post I mentioned the silly Facebook “What quote will define your life in 2017” thing. Ironically it was, “Don’t look back, you’re not going that way.” Just another affirmation that what God has for me lies ahead, and no time or energy needs to be wasted on what I did or did not do the last eight months. Now is the time for me to dig up my gift and start investing it without any fear of what anyone will think!