Orange is the New Megan

Willy Wonka and the Chocoalate Factory - Oompa Loompas

Willy Wonka and his Oompa Loompas

I really wish I was just being clever with my blog title… nope, stating facts. Yes folks, exactly 24 days before the “big day” I made a poor (very poor) decision to do a trial spray tan (can you see where this is going?). Yep, I thought it would be wise (so not wise) to even out my skin tone (I do have some wonky areas) so I would look perfect (way off now) in my strapless dress. Um… I think the phrase “epic fail” is appropriate here.

When I left the tanning salon I was feeling pretty confident. The tan looked great. The gal did a great job and she was really sweet and very respectful (I am choosing to not name the salon because I do not believe my experience has anything to do with their products or service… I am just not supposed to be any other color than white!). She did mention the tan would process a little more and I could shower the next morning. Perfect!

I did everything I was instructed to prepare for the application and followed the steps in the hours after. None of that mattered. When I woke up the next morning (now 23 days till the wedding) I literally broke down in tears. Not only was I an orange color, I was super dark but only in SOME places… and those SOME places would totally be seen in my dress! I was devastated. I tried to pull myself together, but when I saw my mom and she asked how it turned out I burst into tears (again) and exclaimed, “I just want my white body back!”. She tried really hard to be sympathetic and not laugh, but I was so sad looking it was hard not to giggle.

Over the last couple of days I have been able to laugh at myself. My fiance coined the phrase “Orange is the New Megan” and sweetly referred to me as an Oompa Loompa (that may seem mean but it was pretty accurate). My only saving grace is that she barely sprayed my face – so at least that looked normal!

Before you make any suggestions for orange removal, please know that the research has been done and I have aggressively been exfoliating ever since. Naturally, my spray tan happens to be the one that refuses to fade evenly and quickly. Parts of my skin are back to normal, and other parts may just need the next 18 days to recover. In some areas it looks like I have a disease, lol.

So, as you all know, I have been very focused on losing weight and getting in shape for the wedding. That is coming along and I have lost 10 pounds since January, BUT none of that matters now. I am totally cool with my size, I just don’t want to be ORANGE for my wedding day (oh how perspectives change… and it doesn’t hurt that my dress is little big!).

If you are laughing, that’s quite all right. How can you not? Who is dumb enough to turn herself orange before her wedding? This girl. Thankfully, I did a trial three weeks in advance. I just now have the stress of reversing the effects! This is definitely a story for the books. I have “discovered” that Megan needs to stay white… FOREVER!

#OompaLoompa
#OrangeIsTheNewMegan#WhiteFOREVER
#EpicFail
#Duh

 

4 thoughts on “Orange is the New Megan

  1. Lol!! I was hoping for a pic! Sorry I was cracking up! At least you were smart to do it almost a month prior to your wedding instead of a week before! I pray you are all back together by the time you walk down the aisle!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You should have watched an epic show of “friends” when Ross decided to have a spray tan. Now that was funny. In your case…..not so much. I’m sure your husband will love you whether you are Orange, Red, or Green!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes he will!!! In fact I am a HUGE Friends fan and keenly aware of Ross’ tanning faux pax. That’s why I had a live person do it and not a booth. Clearly, that didn’t work either!

      Like

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